Love thyself, before you can love others

He says:

When I was doing some soul-searching I was given all sorts of advice: read 'Loving What Is', try Landmark Forum, have a one-night stand...ok I made the last one up, but you get it. There are different ways to get a sense of self (on your own, with therapy-type groups...etc.), but you have to invest.

I can't remember where I found this list of 'rules', but they're old. However, they're quite a good start to the weekend. If you're an atheist, then replace Jesus for Oprah in Rule 3 ;-)

Seven Ways to Cultivate A Mental Attitude That Will Bring You Peace and Happiness

Rule1:

Let's fill our minds with thoughts of peace, courage, health, and hope, for "our life is what our thoughts make it."

Rule 2:

Let's never try to get even with our enemies, because if we do we will hurt ourselves far more than we hurt them. Let’s never waste a minute thinking about people we don't like.

Rule 3:
A. Instead of worrying about ingratitude, let's expect it. Let's remember that Jesus healed ten lepers in one day -- and only one thanked Him. Why should we expect more gratitude than Jesus got?

B. Let’s remember that the only way to find happiness is not to expect gratitude—but to give for the joy of giving.

C. Let’s remember that gratitude is a "cultivated trait"; so if we want our children to be grateful, we must train them to be grateful.

Rule 4:

Count your blessings--- not your troubles!

Rule 5:

Let’s not imitate others. Let’s find ourselves and be ourselves, for “envy is ignorance” and “imitation is suicide”

Rule 6:

When fate hands us a lemon, let’s try to make lemonade.

Rule 7:

Let’s forget our own unhappiness---by trying to create a little happiness for others. “When you are good to others, you are best to yourself.”

From Dale Carnegie, "How to stop worrying and start living", 1944

She says:

Loving thyself does more than help you love others. It elevates your view of yourself which in turn helps you to enjoy life's joys and cope with the pains. Believe me, I've done the self help books and rules but through the years I've learned that it boils down to one thing.....the Laws of Attraction. You love yourself, you'll attract positive people, events and opportunities. You hate yourself and you'll attract all the negative aspects. Act like a victim and you'll always be the victim. Act like a survivor and you'll always persevere!

This topic is interesting to me because I just got out of a relationship where the guy was such a whiner and complainer. He blamed everything and anything on life rather than taking some sort of responsibility. Dude! Stop your belly-aching and DO something about it!! Identify all the negative things in your life....relationships, careers, etc. You have the power to change those things! For those who can't see how, you're either scared or lazy. How can I be so harsh? Well, I have every right because I've been there and am done with it! It all revolves around what you want in life, figuring out how to get it, being relentless, and surrounding yourself with encouraging people! That's what goals and heroes are for. Don't have goals? Create them! No one's gonna do it for you! The lame whiny guy I broke up with said that heroes are for weak losers....uh, how the heck can you make yourself better and more successful if you don't have a role model?? Duh!!

He says:

Wow...I think I touched a nerve ;-) I hate whiners too...but I'm very supportive in the beginning. And then I get that deja vu feeling and start to 'grunt' replies..."um, yea, uh huh..." whilst thinking "I think I have some laundry to do..."

Anyway...men: it's unmanly to constantly moan and bitch to your woman! She's not there to be your Mum...she's needs stuff from you too, so don't end up like the ex above. Take a deep breathe and look in the mirror. You are the source of your unhappiness.