Clash of the Cultures

He says:

Guys and girls are different enough to cause major communication problems. But add in some foreign blood and that's a recipe for utter frustration, name calling and, oh, blue balls!?

My friend, M, recently made the acquaintance of a Taiwanese girl who lives in Taipei (if you don't know it's 12 hours away from LA look it up). He's chatting her up online and gradually organizes for her to visit. Uh oh, I can feel the pain right now...! However, tempting and romantic it sounds to have a beautiful (by all accounts) stranger travel 6,776 miles to your home town, it's pure love suicide to do it if it involves foreign Asian blood. And Taiwanese girls, jeez, don't get me started.

Oh, okay...here it is: Taiwanese girls are crap. They look hot, but there is something not quite connected in their heads. I did a dating survey: holding hands is thought of as a big commitment; the definition of a date is vague; no Taiwanese girls I know can comprehend 'the one-night stand' (no, I'm not looking for a slag, but I am hoping they're sexually liberated...and experienced ;-) ), but they are happy to dance and giggle whilst singing karaoke. I fucking hate karaoke! Hhaaaaa!

M described how he spent time getting comfortable with X. They shared a room with twin beds. She wore pyjamas, but he did get to peek at her in her undies ;-) Hahaha. So after some manuoevring he got to hold her hand (she thought it was just being friendly...uh that's not what I heard from your country folk?). And lo-and-behold he managed to make a move on her and somehow got to 3rd base, but had no idea if she liked it or was really an active participant?! Oh, and M said that her lips didn't even move when he planted his on hers! Umm, I'm telling you, this must've been like making out with a wet fish: there seems to be a real lack of sexual awareness...

Anyway, M's a trooper and a soft touch like me (yes, I am). But I've spent enough time with Taiwanese girls to know they just aren't worth the effort, so I apply my own (and v. generous) 6-week rule of them. If there's no sign of life within a couple of solo outings, I only give it a couple more tries and definately 'cease and desist' by the 6th week and move on. It's a system I developed since I've been in LA (before coming here I had no contact with Taiwanese girls...thank God!)

Come on, prove me wrong. ;-)